


No Homo

by Archangelsanonymous (Pattypixie)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean, Canon Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Dean Winchester is Not Gay, Gabriel Monthly Challenge, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Porn Watching, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 15:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14876621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/pseuds/Archangelsanonymous
Summary: If Dean Winchester is one thing, its straight. So what if two dudes being bros just want to help each other out with some definitely heterosexual hand jobs? Its all cool as long as you say "no homo" after.**Submission for the June 2018 Gabriel Monthly Challenge**





	No Homo

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY PRIDE MONTH  
> HERE'S SOME CRACK FT. DEAN'S UNSTABLE SEXUALITY
> 
> June GMC prompt: “Soo…you come here oft—no, that’s such a bad line. Give me a minute.”
> 
> Special thanks to my friend for her maybe gay dad and his "special hetrosexual friend" for the inspiration. 
> 
> No homo, y'all.

“Wanna watch another episode?” Gabriel sighed, turning his head to Dean, as the credits from the last episode of Dr. Sexy rolled on the screen. They had been hanging out in Dean’s man cave while Sam and Cas delved into research. At first, Dean wasn’t a huge fan of the archangel, but since spending more time with him, he came to realize that he and Gabriel had a lot of stuff in common. Dean had always liked his style, after all.

“Not really, but what else is there to do?” Dean groaned, stretching his arms out.

“You know, I saw they made a Dr. Sexy porn parody,” Gabriel grinned. “Wanna watch that?”

“What? No,” Dean looked over at Gabriel incredulously. “I’m not watching porn with you.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never just watched porn with anyone before?”

Dean shrugged, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. “I mean, why? It’d be weird with Sam, and Cas…we just don’t let him watch porn anymore.”

“Come on,” Gabriel looked at the TV and snapped his fingers, the parody, “Dr. SeXXXy”, already starting to play. “It’s probably stupid anyway.”

“Fine,” Dean turned to look at the screen as actors in lingerie and white coats that vaguely looked like the ones on the actual show started to appear. “Did he just call her ‘Dr. Fellatio’?”

“I don’t know what else you expected from a porn parody,” Gabriel said as the doctor that Dean pointed out dropped to her knees and started to enthusiastically suck the cock of Dr. SeXXXy while she rubbed herself off on the top of his cowboy boot.

The two sat in silence for a while as the sounds of sex and bad music filled the room. Even though the parody was super cheesy, Dean could help but feel the need to adjust himself as he watched. He looked over to Gabriel to see how much he was paying attention to the screen, and when he saw that he was pretty absorbed in the movie, he reached over and shifted his increasingly apparent erection.

Gabriel noticed the movement out of the side of his vision, and smirked, adjusting himself a little as well. How far could he take this? Dean could be a little tight around the collar when it came to his fragile heteronormativity and Gabriel was curious as to how far he would go. After a few more moments of gyrating on screen, Gabriel decided to test it, and unbuttoned his jeans, letting his hand push the zipper down as he shoved it down his pants. He squeezed his cock through his boxers and closed his eyes at the feeling.

Dean noticed what Gabriel had done, and was trying his absolute hardest to remain calm, considering the dude he was watching porn with just groped himself, and that was exactly what he wanted to do to himself. He waited a minute or two before he did the same thing, not saying a word and staring straight at the screen. His hand on his cock felt amazing, even with the fabric barrier, and he sighed with relief. He didn’t want to make his movements obvious, so he just moved his fingers and massaged himself, but it was just enough.

Once Gabriel heard Dean’s zipper, he knew that he could push the situation even further. He chanced a glance at Dean and his cock jumped at the state the hunter was in, slightly flushed and panting, but trying to keep control. Slowly, he slipped his fingers under the elastic waistband of his underwear and pulled himself out, hissing a bit at the open air on his sensitive skin. Dean, of course, looked over at him, mildly mortified and Gabriel shrugged.

“No homo, man,” Gabriel smiled and started to stroke himself, eyes going back to the porn on screen.

“Oh,” Dean nodded, feeling like a giant weight had been lifted off of him. “Yeah, no homo.” He sighed and reached in his briefs to pull out his cock as well. This was way more comfortable and, Gabriel had said “no homo” so it wasn’t weird anymore. He spat in his hand and stroked up and down, groaning a little as he twisted his wrist at the head. Gabriel looked like he was enjoying himself as well and, huh, he had a pretty nice dick for a dude. He had always heard that uncut ones were more sensitive at the tip and he was sure it was true, since Gabriel seemed to take his time on his downstroke, playing with the loose skin and wet head. Dean’s mouth seemed flooded as he watched Gabriel, and he had to turn away, spitting some of the excess onto his hand again to smooth the way as he pleasured himself.

On screen, Dr. SeXXXy laid on an operating table and was being pleasured by three different female doctors, but Gabriel had trouble focusing on it when Dean was jacking it less than three feet from him. He was trying hard not to stare, but damn, he had no trouble denying that Dean was incredibly hot and he’d have no qualms having those hands or lips on him at some point. He licked his own lips as Dean spat into his hand again, and started to stroke himself faster. God, he’d do so many things to that boy if he could get his hands on him. A moan escaped him and he checked to see if Dean had heard, but he was far too deep in his own pleasure to notice.

Dean could tell he was getting close, especially when Dr. SeXXXy started to spew filthy words of encouragement at the women that were getting him off. He would never tell Gabriel that he sort of imagined the doctor encouraging him. Just as he was concerned about making a mess, Gabriel snapped his fingers with his free hand and two boxes of tissues appeared on the couch between them.

“Thanks,” Dean breathed, throwing his head back and groaning as he could feel his climax getting closer.

“No problem,” Gabriel bit his lip as he let his eyes trail down Dean’s bared neck. He grabbed a few tissues from his box and held them, ready to catch his approaching release. Dean did the same and Gabriel, with a last thought of spilling over Dean’s hand, arched his back on the couch and came into the tissues he already had prepared. Even though he closed his eyes, he could hear the Dean had followed him soon after. Gabriel let out a sigh and opened his eyes halfway, still lightly tugging on his softening cock. He looked over and Dean was cleaning himself up, still flushed and out of breath.

“Guess the parody wasn’t as bad as I thought,” Gabriel chuckled. “You seemed to enjoy it.”

“Yeah,” Dean chuckled too, then looked over at Gabriel. “No homo, though.”

“No homo,” Gabriel replied, allowing Dean’s shoulders to drop in relief. Gabriel changed the channel to something else and smirked.

**

It turned out that watching porn with Gabriel wasn’t that bad, and they seemed to have almost a standing appointment each night to pick out a different porn and jack off to it together. If he had told Sam or Cas about it, he was sure they would have found it weird, but it wasn’t to him. Being around Gabriel like that was surprisingly comfortable and he had actually started looking forward to their nightly activities.

Tonight was something that Dean had picked, a hentai with no subtitles or dubbed voice acting. He felt like the original Japanese was how it was supposed to be heard, and that having to read anything would just ruin the experience. Even though it was one of his favorites, he was having the hardest time getting anywhere with just his hand.

“Hey, uh,” Gabriel nodded his head toward Dean’s half-hearted erection, “do you want some help?”

“Dude, I don’t need any little blue pills, okay?” Dean scoffed, stroking faster in an attempt to get himself going.

“Not that kind of help,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I mean, let me give you a hand…literally.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at Gabriel. “Like…your hand. On my dick.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel shrugged. “No homo, man. I’d just be helping you out.”

Dean considered it for a moment, especially with the comforting stipulation. Gabriel was just helping him out. Nothing weird about that. “Yeah, okay.”

Gabriel scooted closer to Dean on the couch and then, after putting some conjured lotion on his hand, took hold of Dean’s half-hard cock. He could see the hunter suppressing a groan as Gabriel stroked him up and down with varying pressure. “That alright?”

“Yeah, just…Oh, like that,” Dean bit his bottom lip as Gabriel twisted his wrist and he could feel himself start to fully harden. He looked over, noticing that Gabriel wasn’t stroking himself and he was also having some trouble getting it up. “Don’t you…”

“Dominant hand,” Gabriel shrugged. “My right hand can’t do anything.”

Dean hesitated for a moment, then reached over with his right hand and took Gabriel’s cock in it. It felt different than his own, especially with the foreskin. “Just helping. No homo.”

Gabriel’s eyes fluttered a bit and his breath hitched. “Yeah, no homo.” They both leaned back on the couch as they stroked each other, keeping their eyes fixed on the screen that neither were really paying attention to anymore. It was hard to deny how good it felt, having someone else’s hand on them.

“Harder,” Dean grunted, his hips starting to buck up into Gabriel’s hand a bit. The fist around his cock tightened and Dean gasped, trying to control his thrusts.

“You like that?” Gabriel breathed, staring at Dean out of the corner of his eye.

“Fuck, yeah,” Dean blurted, not bothering to temper the movement of his hips anymore. “Gabe, I—“

Gabriel tightened his grip on the base of Dean’s cock. “Not without me,” he growled. Dean let out a small whine, but doubled his efforts on working Gabriel’s cock, responding and adjusting to the sounds that Gabriel was making. “Yeah, that’s it…fuck, I’m close…” He loosened his grip on Dean and started stroking him again, both starting to fall apart due to each other’s hands. Gabriel snapped some tissues into Dean’s other hand and conjured some for himself as well.

“Oh, shit…” Dean groaned and came over Gabriel’s fist, trying to catch as much as he could with the tissues. As soon as he felt Dean’s hot spunk on his hand, Gabriel fell over the edge as well, coming with a soft moan. He covered Dean’s fist with the tissues, trying to catch as much as he could. Finally, after working each other through the aftershocks, Dean pulled his hand away from Gabriel and started wiping his hand off the rest of the way. Gabriel did the same, a little concerned at the serious look on Dean’s face.

“Hey, this was just…” Dean took a deep breath as he tucked himself away. “This was just two dudes helping each other out. No homo, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” Gabriel nodded.

“Say it,” Dean demanded, his fists clenching.

“Uh, no homo?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow and Dean started to relax. “Yeah, no homo. Obviously.” Dean let out a relieved sigh and Gabriel finished cleaning up with a smirk. If Dean thought those two words were some kind of magic that somehow made him not enjoy dudes, that was fine by him. He’d say it as much as he needed to if it meant he got Dean to do stuff like this without feeling uncomfortable and having a crisis. Oh man, was he gonna have some fun.

**

Dean was a little nervous that maybe what he was doing was a little homo after their bro-lationship had escalated, but with Gabriel confirming that there was indeed no homo after they came all over each other’s fists, there was no question. It absolutely was not gay. He was comfortable with Gabriel, and enjoyed it, so there was no way it was gay, because he was  _ definitely _ not gay. Riding on that comfort, Dean decided to bring up some things he had been thinking about. Stuff that he’d feel comfortable asking a bro.

“Hey,” Dean nodded in the direction of the TV, where a busty brunette was over-enthusiastically going down on some guy who kept tugging on her hair and telling her to look at the camera, “you ever wonder what it tastes like?”

“What?” Gabriel asked, biting his lip as Dean swiped his thumb over the head of his cock. “Dick?”

Dean shrugged. “That probably just tastes like sucking on your finger or whatever. I mean like, jizz. What does that taste like?” He groaned a bit when Gabriel tightened his grip.

If Gabriel wasn’t already an angel, he was certain he would have praised one for Dean bringing up this line of conversation. “You’ve never tasted your own before?”

“No way,” Dean scoffed. “That’s weird.”

“Do you—“ Gabriel gasped a little as Dean started stroking him faster. “Do you want to try?”

“I just said that mine would be—“

“I meant you can try mine.”

Dean stopped moving his hand looked over at Gabriel, who had his gaze trained on him and had stopped as well. “What do you mean? This isn’t…you know…”

“Come on, Dean-o,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “No homo. Both of us are straight, right?”

“Yeah, duh,” Dean chuckled nervously. “I was just wondering how we’d do it. That’s all.”

“Well, I think both of us are comfortable enough in our sexualities just to...you know,” Gabriel nodded at the screen, “just do that.”

Dean bit his lip as he looked at the screen. He couldn’t say he hadn’t thought about it and, with Gabriel it wasn’t gay, right? But wasn’t the act kind of gay? “I mean, isn’t that…”

“Well, I mean, if you’re not sure if it can be no homo for you, I get it,” Gabriel chided. “Maybe you’re not—“

“I’m straight, and if I have to suck your dick to prove that, I’ll fucking do it,” Dean snapped.

Gabriel was taken aback and actually left speechless for once. He wasn’t quite sure how logic worked in Dean’s head, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to argue with it. “Fine. Do it.”

Dean, determined to prove that he sure as hell was not gay, moved to his knees on the floor in front of where Gabriel was sitting. He shoved Gabriel’s legs apart enough for him to move between them, then pulled the archangel’s jeans and boxers down his thighs further. Staring at Gabriel’s erection, already hard from their previous activities, he started to question himself. Could he really do this? His mouth was already watering a little. Maybe he was…

Gabriel noticed the hunter hesitating and flicked the top of Dean’s ear. “Hey. No homo, yeah?”

Dean’s shoulders relaxed and he grinned a bit. “Yeah.” He grabbed Gabriel’s cock and stroked it a couple times, shoving the foreskin down before leaning forward and guiding it into his mouth. The tip was already a little wet and salty with precome, but Dean didn’t hate the taste. He thought about what he liked in a blow job, and decided to apply some of those techniques as he took more of Gabriel into his mouth.

Above Dean, Gabriel had his head thrown back, doing everything in his power to not fuck up into Dean’s mouth. He knew that he couldn’t look down because if he saw Dean’s full lips around his cock, he was sure he’d lose it. His fingers twitched, dying to thread themselves into Dean’s hair and tug on it, or hold his head in place as he thrust into it. Between his thoughts and Dean’s unexpectedly talented tongue, it didn’t take long before Gabriel was getting close. “Shit, I…”

Dean hummed in the affirmative and took Gabriel as deep as he could without choking, swallowing and hollowing his cheeks. His jaw hurt and he was kinda glad that Gabriel didn’t take long. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how women did it, and he had found a whole new respect for those that did. He heard Gabriel’s nails scratch against the upholstery of the couch, and he braced himself to finally taste what he had been curious about. With a moan, Gabriel flooded his mouth with salty, semi-sweet spunk to the point where he had to pull away, letting some land on his face and dribble down his chin.

“Oh, fuck,” Gabriel sighed, finally looking down at Dean, who looked completely wrecked. His come was streaked across Dean’s cheek, and dripping down off of his red, puffy lips. Before he could say anything stupid, Gabriel handed Dean some tissues to clean up. “So?”

“Salty,” Dean replied, wiping his face off with the tissues. “A bit sweet, too.”

“Huh,” Gabriel pulled his jeans up and tucked himself in. “So, I guess this means I—“

“Dude, if I had to do it, you do too,” Dean replied, tossing his used tissues aside and standing up. He sat back down at the couch next to Gabriel, pushed his jeans down, and spread his legs. “Come on.”

Gabriel took his time getting on the floor so he didn’t look as eager as he felt. When he settled himself between Dean’s legs, he resisted the urge to lick his lips at the goddamn feast of cock in front of him. He looked up one last time. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Dean shifted a little, getting comfortable. “No homo.”

“No homo,” Gabriel repeated, rolling his eyes as he took Dean’s cock into his mouth.

Dean had definitely had his fair share of blow jobs before, but he had never expected Gabriel’s mouth to feel better than anything else he had ever experienced. Gabriel’s tongue was everywhere, and he white-knuckle gripped the edge of the couch cushions when he felt the slight bite of teeth brushing along the underside of his cock. A moan escaped his mouth as Gabriel took him to the root, demonstrating that apparently, angels didn’t have a gag reflex. Dean tried not to look down, assuming that seeing a guy sucking him off would kill his boner, but he couldn’t help but sneak a glance at what Gabriel was doing. Turns out that seeing Gabriel on his knees, strands of golden hair falling in his face and spit trailing from his lips, did more for him than any girl ever had. Gabriel flicked his eyes up to look at Dean, and he quickly looked away, not wanting to get caught. That was something he was going to just put in the back of his mind and not think about ever.

“I…fuck, Gabe,” Dean squeezed his eyes shut and felt like he was holding on for his life as Gabriel’s mouth worked him. “I’m gonna…” He felt Gabriel’s mouth vibrate around him, and thought he heard a moan coming from below, but he could barely hear a thing over how gone he was. Gabriel took him deep again and swallowed, pushing Dean over the edge. He arched his back and came down Gabriel’s throat with a growl, still holding onto enough sense to not thrust his hips up.

Gabriel swallowed as much as he could, then pulled off of Dean, only a small dribble of come escaping from the corner of his mouth. “Really salty. Maybe cut back on the fast food for next time.”

“Next time?” Dean asked, tucking himself in. “I thought this was just…”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Gabriel shrugged, sat back on his heels and wiped his mouth. “Just figured it wouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not like either of us are getting our rocks off with anyone else. Plus, it’s no homo,” he raised an eyebrow at Dean, “right?”

“Right,” Dean confirmed, quickly. “No homo. We’re just…helping each other out through a dry spell. No big deal.”

Gabriel smiled. “No big deal at all.”

**

Ever since they had started venturing into blow job territory, Dean had started to seriously question whether everything really was no homo. It didn’t help that he had started having dreams about Gabriel and he was starting to get the urge to lick his own taste out of Gabriel’s mouth after every session. They didn’t do it every night, but it felt like a serious treat every time they did. Dean was even starting to enjoy giving them, tasting Gabriel’s spunk and feeling the weight of his full cock on his tongue. There was no way he could let Gabriel know that he felt this way though. They agreed that everything was no homo and he wasn’t sure how Gabriel would react if he told him that, for Dean, maybe it was a little bit homo.

Gabriel was currently on his knees in front of Dean, cock in his mouth and one hand massaging his balls. Dean swore that Gabriel got better every time he did this, and Dean was pretty sure he was learning, too. Not that he needed to. He didn’t plan on sucking any other dicks but Gabriel’s. That was really the only dick he wanted to suck. What did that mean? Was he—

“Woah!” Dean was startled by the sudden brush of a finger across his ass. He would have jumped, but he didn’t want to hurt Gabriel. “What the hell?”

“What?” Gabriel asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Were you trying to put your finger up my ass?” Dean huffed.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never had that done to you before?”

Dean’s eyes widened. “Dude, no!”

“It’s not gay,” Gabriel sighed. “It’s okay for a straight dude to like a finger or two up his ass. You know how girls have a g-spot?” Dean nodded. “Well, the guy version of that is just inconveniently up the ass. It’s just biology.”

“No chick has ever tried to stick their finger up my ass,” Dean narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

“Then you haven’t been with anyone that was any fun,” Gabriel chuckled. “Kali used to put her hands everywhere, and I mean  _ everywhere _ . Fucking Kama Sutra shit. Never came harder in my life.”

Dean felt a strange pang of jealousy in his gut, and he wasn’t sure why. “You’re sure this isn’t…”

“No homo, man,” Gabriel confirmed. “Just showing you the wonders of the prostate. Nothing gay about it.”

“You’re gonna use lube, right?” Dean bit his lip, a little nervous.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “You’re not exactly talking to an amateur, Dean-o.”

“Alright,” Dean took a deep breath and let it out. “No homo.”

“No homo,” Gabriel repeated. “Now, you got to relax, okay? I’ll keep blowing you and that should help.”

Dean leaned back and scooted his ass forward, so that it was closer to the edge of the couch. He melted back into the cushions as soon as Gabriel’s mouth went back on him and he closed his eyes, trying his best to relax like he was told.

Gabriel had no idea what he had done to deserve Dean, but he was enjoying the hell out of it. As he took Dean’s cock back in his mouth, he rubbed his first two fingers and thumb together to conjure a small amount of lube. He glanced up, making sure that Dean was relaxing, then slowly grazed his puckered hole with his middle finger. As expected, he tensed up right away, but started to relax again as Gabriel put more pressure on the muscle and started to massage around it a bit.

“That…” Dean breathed. “That’s actually not that bad.”

Gabriel smiled around Dean’s cock, then started to work the tip of his finger into Dean’s entrance. He got to the first knuckle and looked up again to see how Dean was doing. His face looked a little uncomfortable, but it seemed like he was starting to relax into it. Slowly, he started to push his finger in a bit more, and his mouth used techniques that he knew would calm Dean down.

“Damnit, Gabriel,” Dean groaned. “When’s it supposed to feel good and not fucking weird as hell?”

Gabriel pulled off of Dean with a pop. “Soon, okay? I can’t just shove it in.”

Dean frowned as Gabriel went back to sucking him off. “This just better be worth it.”

With a huff of annoyance, Gabriel took Dean to the root, then pushed his finger the rest of the way in, crooking it just right to push on Dean’s prostate. Several explicatives came out of Dean’s mouth that trailed off into moans, and Gabriel felt Dean’s hand thread into his hair, tugging it. Gabriel let out a moan himself, hoping that Dean would pull on his hair even more. He reached down and started stroking himself, groaning around Dean’s cock.

“Holy…” Dean gasped. “What the fuck was—oh, fuck, yes!” He arched his back and moaned as Gabriel hit his prostate again, starting to build a rhythm by pushing his finger in and out of Dean’s hole. Gabriel’s head was being held still by his hand, and with so much pleasure coursing through his body, he couldn’t help but fuck up into Gabriel’s mouth. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind.

“So fucking good,” Dean moaned. “Fuck, I’m so—“ He thrust deep into Gabriel’s mouth, enough to choke a normal person, and spilled down his throat. Coming down from his climax, he unconsciously fucked himself on Gabriel’s finger, letting out small moans every time he hit that spot again.

Gabriel swallowed Dean’s cum down, then let his cock slip out of his mouth as he fisted himself to completion. He watched his finger get swallowed up again and again by Dean’s hole, and it wasn’t long before he came over his own fist with a groan. Slowly, he pulled his finger out of Dean and cleaned himself up with some tissues.

Dean’s chest heaved as he caught his breath, then looked down at Gabriel. “That was fucking insane.”

“Good, huh?” Gabriel grinned up at Dean.

“Will you, uh,” Dean bit his lip and shifted a bit as he pulled his jeans and boxers back up, “do that again sometime? No homo.”

Gabriel shrugged. “Sure, man. No homo.”

Dean sighed in relief and sunk back into the couch. “Awesome.”

**

Dean found Sam in the library, as usual, sorting through things and entering them into his computer database. Even though they had been living at the bunker a while, it was still hard to find downtime to categorize and sort the plethora of information they had.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean greeted, leaning on the back of one of the chairs across from where Sam was sitting. “Got a sec?”

“Yeah, of course,” Sam replied, looking up from the file on documented werewolf locations in Wisconsin in the 1910’s.

“So,” Dean cleared his throat and stepped around the chair he was leaning on to sit in it. “Hypothetically—“

“I didn’t even know you knew that word,” Sam teased, smirking.

“Shut up,” Dean pointed at Sam as a warning. “Hypothetically, say two dudes who are just bros started watching porn together, just for fun. Is it gay if they get off together but say ‘no homo’ afterward? Cuz like, saying no homo is supposed to cancel the gay shit out.”

Sam stared at Dean, blinking a few times, before opening his mouth. “Uh…I mean, if you—“

“Hypothetical.”

“ _ They _ ,” Sam sighed, “didn’t touch and got off on the porn and not each other, I suppose it could not be gay.”

“Alright,” Dean nodded, contemplating a little. “What if they decided doing it themselves wasn’t enough and they started to give each other handys while watching, but still said no homo?”

“I mean,” Sam groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I guess that could not be gay? As long as it was still getting off to the porn.”

“What about giving each other blow jobs?” Dean continued. “Still no homo.”

“They’re sucking each other’s dicks.”

“Yeah, every once in a while. Not like every day or anything.”

“And they’re saying no homo after doing this.”

“Yeah, because it’s just two bros helping each other out. Not gay.”

“Two dudes, being bros,  _ helping each other out _ by giving each other  _ heterosexual _ blow jobs.”

“And sometimes a couple fingers up the ass, but yeah, you got it,” Dean smiled. “Definitely not gay, right?”

Sam leaned back in his chair and ran his palms over his face a few times before crossing his arms over his chest. “Honestly, man? That sounds pretty fucking gay.”

“But we said no homo,” Dean argued. “That makes it not gay.”

“Sorry to break it to you, but,” Sam sighed, “maybe you should really rethink your sexuality. If you’re enjoying doing…whatever it is with this dude, he’s probably feeling the same way.”

Dean shoved his chair away from the table and stood up. “I’m not gay!”

Sam held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, I can’t tell you what you are or aren’t, but whatever you got going on is definitely not straight. You can say ‘no homo’ all you want, but I think you know that it’s at least a little homo.”

“Fuck you,” Dean spat, storming out of the library, probably toward his room and the bottle of whiskey under his bed.

“I’m gonna guess this is your doing,” Sam said, into the library.

Gabriel poked his head out from behind a nearby shelf. “I didn’t do anything he didn’t want to.” He walked over and plopped down in the seat that Dean had previously occupied. “Not my fault he thinks that ‘no homo’ magically makes things not gay.”

“You have to fix that mess, though,” Sam demanded. “And do it properly. I don’t want to have to deep fry your wings, but you know I can and will.”

“Fine,” Gabriel groaned. “Does this mean I got the little brother blessing?”

“As long as you don’t fuck up,” Sam turned back to his files. “Now, go. I’m busy.”

Gabriel stuck his tongue out at Sam, then with a soft breeze and flutter of wings, he disappeared from the library. Sam sighed and shook his head. “Idiots.”

**

After a few days of keeping his distance, Gabriel finally worked up the courage to confront Dean in the man cave. He quietly walked in and saw Dean sitting on the couch, a few empty beer bottles at his feet and one in his hand, with Ninja Warrior on the screen.

**“Soo…you come here oft—no, that’s such a bad line,”** Gabriel shook his head. **“Give me a minute.”**

“Fuck off,” Dean grumbled, taking a swig from his bottle.

“Don’t be like that, Dean-o,” Gabriel cooed. “We were having fun, weren’t we?”

Dean turned his head and glared at Gabriel. “You knew it was homo the entire time, didn’t you?”

Gabriel shrugged and moved a couple steps closer. “Guilty as charged.”

“I’m fucking pissed,” Dean admitted, turning his head back to the TV. “At you, sure, but mostly at myself. How was I so fucking stupid?”

“Dean, you’re not—“ Gabriel groaned. “What do you want me to say? I like you. I like fucking around with you. You have a great dick and a great mouth and a great ass and—“

“Stop, okay?” Dean set his beer down and stood up, facing Gabriel. “I’m not gay.”

Gabriel laughed, causing Dean’s face to redden. “Could have fooled me.”

Dean walked over, grabbing a fistful of Gabriel’s shirt and pulling him close. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Yeah?” Gabriel, still grinning, licked his lips. “Why don’t you make me, big boy?”

Any reservations Dean had flew out the window and he went with his first instinct of pressing his mouth hard against Gabriel’s. The archangel moaned as he opened his lips and let Dean lick into his mouth without abandon. Gabriel’s hands took hold of Dean’s hips, gripping them hard and pulling them to his own. They gasped as their lips slid against each other, not wanting to separate for something as menial as breathing. Dean’s hand started to unclench, and he reached his other around Gabriel, finding its way up the bottom of his shirt and pressing his palm against the skin of Gabriel’s lower back.

Gabriel rolled his hips, grinding his growing erection into Dean’s thigh, causing the hunter to throw his head back. He took the opportunity to lavish Dean’s neck with his mouth, nipping softly at the skin and savoring the spicy, sweet taste. “What do you say, Dean?” Gabriel hissed. “Gonna let me fuck you?” He lightly bit Dean’s earlobe, earning a loud moan from the hunter’s throat. “You’re so desperate for it aren’t you? Beneath all that straight manly bullshit, all you really want is my fat cock in your ass.”

“Fuck, Gabe,” Dean breathed. “You all talk, or are you gonna fucking get to it already?”

Gabriel growled and picked Dean up, tossing him on his back upon the couch. “Impatient little slut,” he muttered, settling himself between Dean’s legs and pushing his shirt up until the fabric bunched at his armpits. Dean whined as soon as Gabriel latched onto one of his nipples, sucking until it was red and peaked before moving on to the other. As Gabriel sucked dark marks into Dean’s chest, he ground his clothed cock against Dean’s ass, just as impatient.

Dean reached down and started to unbutton his jeans, then undid Gabriel’s, groping at his bulge. “Damn right, now hurry up.”

“Someday I’m gonna make you wait,” Gabriel promised, sitting up and pulling Dean’s jeans and boxers off in one motion. When Dean’s cock was freed, it bounced against his firm stomach, leaving trails of precome in its wake. “But right now I just want to fuck you so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

Dean moaned and stroked his cock while Gabriel divested himself of his own jeans. “I can’t believe I’m letting you fuck me. What the fuck did you do to me?”

Gabriel grinned and rubbed his fingers and thumb together to lube them up. “Nothing you didn’t want, trust me.” He tucked his knees under Dean’s ass to prop it up, then started to massage his entrance with his prepared fingers. “I mean, fuck Dean, your ass is practically begging for it.” With only a few moments of coaxing, Gabriel was able to slide his middle finger into Dean’s hole with little resistance. Apparently the last few weeks of fingering had been helping him relax.

Dean panted and groaned as Gabriel moved his finger in and out of his body purposely avoiding his prostate. “You’re a fucking tease.”

“Oh, you need more?” Gabriel smirked and started to work a second finger into Dean’s ass. The hunter threw his head back, loving the stretch of Gabriel’s two fingers. Soon, Gabriel was adding in a third finger and Dean couldn’t help but fuck down onto his hand, begging for more.

“Come on, Gabe,” Dean whined.

“You gonna beg me for it?” Gabriel teased. “Is the ‘definitely not gay’ Dean Winchester going to beg for my cock?”

Dean let out a frustrated growl. “I fucking hate you. Gonna fucking kick your ass, I swear.”

Gabriel tutted, still very amused. “That’s not very nice.” He took all his fingers out except one, barely inside of Dean, circling his rim. “Try again.”

“You…” Dean sighed heavily after trying desperately to move Gabriel’s hand closer, but was losing hope. “fu…me…se…” He mumbled.

“Didn’t catch that,” Gabriel cupped his ear with the hand not already occupied.

“Fuck. Me. Please,” Dean enunciated through gritted teeth.

Gabriel smiled. “Good enough.” He conjured some lube on his palm and stroked himself, making sure he was slick enough. Grabbing hold of Dean’s hips, he slowly guided the hunter onto his cock, letting him adjust with every inch.

“Oh fuck,” Dean gasped, throwing one arm over his eyes. “It’s so fucking much.”

“Almost there, sugar,” Gabriel encouraged, rubbing circles into Dean’s hips with his thumbs. Finally, Gabriel’s cock was fully enveloped by Dean’s ass and he let out a breath. “Fuck, you’re tight. Let me know when I can move cuz I’m not gonna last long.”

Dean started to feel his muscles relax around Gabriel’s cock, but it still felt like the head was in his throat. “Yeah, okay.”

Gabriel grinned, and lifted Dean into a sitting position without warning, earning him a squeak (that Dean would never admit to). Once Dean got with the program and wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s neck, the archangel started to thrust up into him, guided by his hands on his hips.

Dean had lost all brain function and wasn’t sure anything that was coming out of him mouth made sense. All he could do was chant Gabriel’s name interspersed with swear words. How he had thought he could live without this, he didn’t know, but he was sure he couldn’t live without it now.

As Gabriel started to get close to his climax, he pulled Dean close, laying sloppy kisses on Dean’s lax lips. For what it was worth, Dean tried to kiss back, but with each thrust against his prostate, he became less aware of his motor functions. “Ready to be full of the holy spirit, Dean-o?”

“What the—oh fuck! Don’t stop!” Dean shouted, as Gabriel started to jerk his cock. In just a few more thrusts, Gabriel pulled Dean down as far as he could on his cock and spilled deep inside him. Dean followed soon after, shooting thick white ropes between their bodies and over Gabriel’s fist. Once they came down, Gabriel laid back on the couch, letting Dean collapse on top of him, both panting heavily.

“Holy fuck,” Dean groaned, feeling Gabriel’s cock slip out of him.

“I mean, technically, yeah,” Gabriel joked, earning a light slap on the chest from Dean. They laid together for a few moments in silence, just basking in the afterglow. “Hey.” Gabriel turned Dean’s head to look at him. “No homo?”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Dude, this was a lot homo. All the homo.”

“You okay?” Gabriel asked, a bit nervous that he had scared Dean off.

“Yeah,” Dean sighed. “I guess I don’t mind being a little homo…as long as it’s with you.”

Gabriel grinned. “So, yes homo.”

“A little homo,” Dean mumbled, his eyes drifting closed. “Just with you homo.”

“I like that kind of homo,” Gabriel agreed, rubbing Dean’s back and closing his eyes for a short rest as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Come be homo with me!
> 
> Tumblr: @archangelsanonymous
> 
> Twitter: @Pattypixie


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